It came to pass that a group existed who called themselves fishermen, and lo, there were many fish in the waters all around them. In fact the whole area was surrounded by streams and lakes filled with hungry fish.  Week after week, month after month, those who called themselves fishermen met in meetings and discussed their ‘call’ to fish, the abundance of fish, and how they might go about fishing. Year after year, they carefully defined what fishing means, defended fishing as an occupation, and declared that fishing should always be the primary task of fishermen and the essence of any good mission statement.

Continually they searched for new and better methods of fishing and for innovative definitions for fishing. Further they said, “The fishing industry exists for fishing as fire exists for burning.” They loved slogans such as “Every fisherman is a fisher” and “A fisherman’s outpost for every fisherman’s club.”  They sponsored special meetings called “fisherman’s campaigns” and “the month for fisherman to fish”. They subsidized global congresses with keynote addresses on the rationale and best practices in fishing. They promoted new fishing equipment and called for papers to be presented on innovative new baits discovered for fishing.

These fishermen built large, beautiful buildings called “fisherman’s headquarters.”  The plea was that everyone should be a fisherman and every fisherman should fish. In addition to meeting regularly they formed a board to organize and send out fishermen to other places where there were many fish. All the fishermen agreed that what was really needed was a supportive board that would challenge fishermen to be faithful. The board was formed of those who with great courage and motivation could do vision-casting for fishing. They spoke of the need to fish in faraway streams and lakes where many fish of different colors lived. Furthermore, the board hired staff and appointed a committee and subcommittees to defend fishing and to look into current trends and issues in fishing, but the staff and committee members themselves were far too busy too fish.

In addition to fishermen’s headquarters, fishing schools were built.  Over the years specialized courses were offered on the existential needs and intricate nature of fish, the psychological reactions of fish, where to find fish and how to approach and feed fish. Those who taught had PhDs (doctorates) in fishology and became professors and heads of the fishology department in universities. But the teachers did not fish; they only taught fishing. Year after year many graduated and were given fishing licenses. They were sent to do full time fishing, some to distant and exotic waters that were filled with fish.

Some spent much time, money and travel to do research on the history of fishing and see the far away places where the founding fathers did great fishing in centuries past. They lauded the faithful fishermen of bygone years who handed down the idea of fishing and eventually found that speaking about and researching fishing was far more interesting and lucrative than fishing.

Further, the fishermen established large printing houses to publish fishing guides. Presses were kept busy day and night to produce material solely devoted to fishing methods, equipment and programs to arrange and to encourage meetings to talk about fishing. A speaker’s bureau was also provided to schedule special speakers on the subject of fishing. Many who felt the call to be a fisherman responded. They were commissioned and sent to fish, but like the fishermen back home, they engaged in all kinds of other occupations. They built power plants to pump water for fish and ran tractors to plow new waterways.   They spent most of their time traveling here and there to look at fish hatcheries.

Others never fished because they felt their job was to relate to the fish in a good way so that the fish would know the difference between good and bad fishermen. Still others felt that letting the fish know that they were nice land-loving neighbors was more important than fishing. After one stirring meeting on “The Necessity of Fishing,” one young fellow left the meeting and went fishing. The next day he reported that he had caught two outstanding fish. He was immediately honored for his excellent catch and scheduled to visit all the big meetings possible to tell how he did it. He was also placed on the Fishermen’s General Board of Directors as a person having considerable practical experience.  So he quit his fishing in order to have time to tell about the experience to the other fishermen.

• John M. Drescher, Pulpit Digest, July/August [This version is paraphrased & adapted by
  Stephen Phelan].