Consulting and consultants are “a thing” nowadays.  Let’s pretend Jesus encountered a consultant as He was putting together His team of disciples – – – >

C:  So who do you have your eye on?

J:  I really like this guy Simon.

C:  Simon …Simon …Simon …I’m not seeing this name on the list.

J:  Really!?  Lemme see it… [C hands the list to J.  J crumples up the list and throws it in the waste basket].

C:  Really!?

J:  {smiles}

C:  Okay, so who is this Simon guy?

J:  [slides a manilla folder across the table …the word “Classified” is stamped on the front of the folder and inside there’s germane data on one Simon Peter, and the other candidates J is seriously considering]

C: What!?  He’s a fisherman!?!? …and He’s a notorious braggart!

J:  I wanna build the team around this guy.

C:  You cannot be serious.  I advise against this. [C looks intently at J trying to discern whether or not He is actually serious about using His first-round pick on this guy. …J is hard to read, but it seems that He is committed to choosing Simon in round 1]  I strongly advise against this!  …This guy is an uneducated dim-wit from the sticks, and what’s worse is that he has an infamous track-record of making promises and not keeping them!  I guarantee that this guy will deny, disavow, and disown you if/when the going gets tough!

J:  The decision’s been made …he’s the front man [J has a profoundly winsome and affectionate look on His face].

C:  Seriously!?

J: {simply looks at C in a way that conveys an unmistakable resolution to follow through with the decision}

C:  Seriously!?

J:  I like his brother too.

C:  Cuss!  I don’t even know why I bother being here!

J:  Don’t be too hard on yourself.  Your talent is undeniable, but your paradigm is abominable.

C:  [wears an extremely frustrated expression on his face, and anyone within 78 yards could clearly see that he was on the brink of throwing a prodigious pity-party/pout-fest in honor of himself]

J:  Speaking of brothers …I’ve also decided to recruit the sons of Zebedee.

C:  [thumbs through the information in the folder…] You CANNOT be serious [the tone of voice is one of complete defeat].  These guys are belligerent!

J:  Yes!  We gotta have some intensity …you know – some GUSTO!  The team dynamic just won’t have the proportion and balance without a couple of bruisers like the Zebedee boys!

C:  [bites his lip …feeling a bit exasperated …things are NOT going the way he had planned …C had really hoped to feel validated during this meeting, but J doesn’t seem to be agreeing with any of his advice]

J:  Moving on.  I also like Philip, Batholomew, Thomas, James – the son of Alphaeus – and Thaddeus.

C:  Whatever.

J:  You know, you really should take this more seriously …you’re being downright lazy and childish!

C:  Are you kidding me right now!?  I’M not taking this seriously!?  This team your assembling is laughable …no, it’s worse than laughable – it’s a guaranteed train wreck!  I came in here to help you build a legit franchise, and you seem bound-determined to forfeit the season!  None of your recruits make any sense!  It’s like you have a death wish!  I’m trying to help you man!

J:  Okay, we have a few spots left – who would you recommend?

C:  [*deep sigh, demeanor ruffled & vexed, but every ounce of energy allocated toward attempting to maintain some semblance of composure] Alright – I know a guy – he’s highly educated; solid reputation; in a position of authority …he’s a guy who could really give us some credibility with the aristocracy, and some traction in the polls; and I already know he respects you, and he’s willing to play on your team if the terms of the contract are savvy!  His name is Nicodemus.

J:  Ah yes, Nicky.  I’ve already spoken with him, and I’ve told him what is required if he wants to be one of my disciples.

C:  What did you tell him!?

J:  I told him the truth.

C:  So you offended him!

J:  The truth is oftentimes offensive.

C:  Come’on man!  How am I suppose to help you if you keep burning bridges!  Our leads are few and far between – especially amongst the higher-ups!  There’s hardly anyone amongst the haut monde who’s even remotely amenable toward you anymore!

J:  Have you been briefed on WHY I’m here?

C:  I’ve scanned the mission documents, it’s a bit long-winded if you ask me; and talk about cryptic!  …Look, we all know the end game, we’re all after the same thing  …why don’t you just let me do my job; I’m just trying to help you.  Do you want me to follow up with Nicodemus or not?

J:  Nicky’s not ready – he’s not needy enough.  I do however have my eye on Matthew the tax collector and Simon the Zealot.

C:  [looks like he’s ready to punch J in the face].  Are you mocking me?

J:  This isn’t about you.  This is about Me.  This is about the expansion of My Kingdom.

C:  You don’t make any sense!  None of your decisions make any sense to me – not a single one!

J:  So you admit you need help. …you need help understanding who I am.

C:  I think you’re crazy!

J:  That’s not a bad start.

C:  You realize that Simon and Matthew will NEVER get along!  You realize that the team will be perpetually fractured, and it is doomed to disintegrate if you put both of these guys on the team.  Look, you’ve already committed to having a losing team, but if you draft both of these guys you won’t even have a team!  Their preferences and principles could not be more diametrically opposed – bipartisanship is IMPOSSIBLE between these two!  The cause will be lost before it starts …this mission of yours will never get off the ground!

J:  I agree!  Impossible! …have you not read what’s been published about Me and My being here?

C:  I need a drink.  This is absurd.  I don’t get you bro.

J:  For my 12th pick, I’ve decided to draft Judas Iscariot.

C:  [stares at the folder for 4 minutes and then unenthusiastically flips to the info. on Judas I.]  At least you have a shred of common sense in you …one guy out of 12 looks relatively promising, it says here that Judas has a degree in finance.