I am writing to express my concern and distress regarding the “rabbi” Jesus of Nazareth. My son has never been the brightest crayon in the box, and I have always been worried about people preying on him and leading him astray. My husband and I have worked very hard to provide a prosperous and protected path for our son. Like any good parents, we want our son to have financial security, good physical health and safety, a robust and reliable insurance plan, a solid retirement package, and – above all – we want our son to be part of a wholesome community. So, I am – for obvious reasons – deeply disturbed by the influence of Jesus of Nazareth on my son. The fact that this “rabbi” is from Nazareth is in itself cause for alarm! Everyone knows that nothing good ever comes from Nazareth! Any reputable person (let alone a rabbi!) would make every effort to expunge any and all connections to Nazareth from their record, but this “rabbi” goes around wearing it as a badge of honor!
I could perhaps be persuaded to tolerate a rabbi from such plebeian and disgraceful origins, but Jesus shows no signs of compunction about disreputable communities! He shamelessly situates himself amidst scandalous societies… tax collectors, prostitutes, gluttons, drunkards, and SAMARITANS!!! Don’t misunderstand me, I wholeheartedly hope and pray that these people(s) would be helped out of their miserable and abhorrent lifestyles, but Jesus of Nazareth doesn’t display nearly enough concern for their disgustingly indecorous conduct, customs, or culture. And I was appalled to discover that when the “rabbi” Jesus of Nazareth does furnish vehement and emphatic warnings, he issues them about – and AGAINST – our esteemed Pharisees, and our honorable religious leaders working in political arenas to help secure our religious freedoms and fight for conservative and capitalistic policies to ensure our prosperity and the prosperity of our children!
I know that our highly credentialed synagogue officials are attempting to expose and condemn this “rabbi” Jesus, but as a concerned mother I must demand that you intensify your efforts! I recently heard that Jesus lead a team of impressionable Jews (including my son) INTO SAMARIA! This is egregious! I cannot fathom why our chief priests, and our statesmen working hand-in-glove with Herod haven’t been able to get Jesus canceled yet! However, I can’t say I didn’t see this field trip to Samaria coming. I have been sounding the alarm ever since I heard about Jesus’ manipulative strategy to “normalize” association with Samaritans through his insidious storytelling! Our children are susceptible to the allure of his simple stories, and his most famous short story is about A SAMARITAN HERO! In fact, Jesus goes out of his way to cast the Samaritan as a hero, while simultaneously vilifying our revered and reputable Levitical and priestly figures!
Is it not obvious that the “rabbi” Jesus of Nazareth is undermining and destroying every security, and every safety measure, and every decorous cultural norm, and every profitable path we have labored so hard to establish for our children! I am formally filing a complaint against the “rabbi” Jesus of Nazareth because his ways are not our ways, and his thoughts are not our thoughts; and he is poisoning the minds of our children with notions that destroy families and celebrate death! Here is a direct quote from Jesus:
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.”– Jesus of Nazareth
Clearly the most emphatic teachings and indoctrinations of Jesus are diametrically at odds with our principled objectives to safeguard, and provide for, our children!